this journal is just a dead journal. i wanna make a new one.
not much going on lately. not much school left, either.
summer vacation is soooon & i'm fucking phsyched.
i just dyed my hair and it did NOTHING.
i'm super pissed. i want it to be lighter.
next time i'm going to have to buy a really blonde color to get it strawberry blonde.
for now i'll just use like.. head and shoulders to make it a little lighter.
but i'll have to wait till summer to dye it. rawwwwr. i hate hair sometimes.
so, i lost weight but then like.. gained it back. and it sucks.
so i need to do something about that.. like.. uhh not pig out.
i did nothing all weekend, and i'm kinda glad i didn't.
i missed a show at the school to stay home. ha! go me.
i also went to the movies with my mom to see forgetting sarah marshall.
i was supposed to hang out with desiree but she never called me back.
hmm guess that's it, i'll update in another 800 years.
it's sunday. i went to amber's after school on saturday. it was kick arse. we didn't really do anything, but all i haveta say is.. that its getting nice out and i'm happy. we took a walk. after amber's house, i came home with my mom and we went to see grease at the highschool. it was entertaining. then we went out to eat at bennagins or whatever the douche you call it. so now it's sunday and i have to do homework and effing go to gay ass school tomorrow. grrrrr.
sorry about that. i forgot to update, whooops. uh i don't really feel like updating so i'm not gunna make this long. nothing's been going on lately, i'm bored, lalala. 3rd quarter is over and yeah. i am going to to do that keystone thing this summer. for painting, though. it'll be good i guess. uhh so yeah, bye bye.
mr. demora gave me this thing for this keystone art program, and idk about it. for one month of the summer you go monday through friday to these classes for like either photography or painting. i'd probably do photography. but idk about going to it, though. i'm going to have to do some deep thinking if i really want to give up like a month of my short summer. idk, its a really big deal though. i wish i can go to classes that are just like twice or 3 times a week, that'd be great. oh well, i'll just have to think more.
me and meghan are gunna sing 'something' by the beatles for our madricall try out. i hope it goes good, i know i can't sing but i wanna be in madricall. idk, i like chorus and everything, but theres like no one in chrous, and i'm not going to do it next year if i don't make madricall. i won't make it, i just know it. but i'll give it a try.
i really am disapointed in my eating habbits lately. the freakin munchies come creepin' on me every day. and i need to find some way to control that. i need to eat 3 meals a day and excercize. i'm eating like 3 meals a day including like 8 meals of snack and not excersizing. BAD. i really want to be comfortable with myself, but i feel like i can never stop eating. its sucksss.
i don't really know what else to write. life has been decent lately. i wish something would get exciting though. nothing is like happening anymore, and its really shitty. i hope i'm not bored the rest of my life. i can't wait till things start to get exciting, everything i do these days are like the same i've always been doing them. i need some kind of change. i don't know what though, and it sucks.
i don't really know what else to write..... OH YEAH! the other day in science, i was back in my little corner just minding my own business, trying to get all comfortable with my desk.... and i look under the cabnet, just randomly, and there was a little mouse sitting there. i thought maybe it was like dead, or it was a stuffed animal.. but i looked closer and it was damn alive. there was something wrong with its back legs, though.. maybe they got crushed by a box or maybe he was born that way, idk. it looked like he was born like that, they were like shrunk. i do a double take, and i see that its moving and like chewing on something. i look at ashely and amber, and i say "THERES A FUCKING MOUSE BACK HERE." and they're like.. wtf are you talking about. and i'm like look under the cabniet, behind me.. and they're like OMG! amber gets up... " mr. revta, theres a mouse back here" and everyone jumps up and comes running over. david and mike were yelling rude things like "KILL IT!" "SMASH IT WITH THE BOARD!" and that pissed amber off so bad. she picked it up and put it in a bag and put that bag in a bucket. haha it was pretty interesting.
also, i've been missing my good pal dillon a lot lately. it sucks because i don't want him to think i'm blowing him off by not writing him. his dad told me to give letters to his little brother in school.. but i never see him, so theres no way i can. he called and i asked for his house adress so i can just send it to him and then he can take it with him when he goes to see dillon. dillon wrote me twice, and i feel like he thinks i'm not writing him because i forgot or something. i don't want him to think that. i love my dilltonian, and i hope my letter clears everything up. i need him back soon, things need to be normal for him again.
so, idk. i'm pretty bored so i just like spilled out everything on my mind. i guess that's it.
it shall be spring break, mon. i'm off thursday through monday. kelly is coming over tomorrow and we shall be dying our hair. she shall stay over night and then leave friday night. saturday i shall have plans with my momma. sunday i shall go to a nice lunch type thing with my mom's side of the family. then maybe that night i will hang out with desiree to monday. it should be a good spring break, yes, yes indeed. uhhh nothing is going on lately. school has been getting harder and harder, but i feel like i'm doing really good. i'm probably not, but i'm giving it my all, even if i don't want to. uhhhhhhh i've been doing good with my diet lately. this is a secret from my parents, but i've been taking their lunch money and pretended to use it on lunch, but i just save it. i eat a 90 calorie special k bar in the morning, then i come home and have a bowl of cerial or a cerial bar everyday for my lunch. i hope having a smaller lunch and working out will help with my weight a little more. with easter comming up, i might break my diet a little, but oh well.
anyways, so yeah. me and kelly are dying our hair. she is dying her hair like really red. i'm going to dye it darker brown with a big red tint. we're going to look hawt. so yeah, be prepared to have an orgasm when you see us..... don't ask. uhhhh yeah okay bye.
-i knew what the fuck i was doing.
-i knew how to disapear.
-i knew how to deal with everything.
-that everyone can get along, no matter how corny that sounds.
-that i didn't feel awkward.
-i fucking knew how to loose weight.
-people wouldn't get on me for everything i do.
-i can feel comfortable with myself for once.
-that i knew how to make a decision.
-that i can fucking save my goddamn money.
-that i can move somewhere else and make new fucking friends who won't shit over everything.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh i fucking hate life
i just want to die, seriously. someone please kill me. i don't know what to do.
i went to ashleys this weekend. i needed to do a project with her for mrs. martin. it was pretty easy, so i can't complain. we hung out with yvonne, and we did a bit of drinking :D that was fun and what not. i find it funny because the next day in health we started to learn about alcohal. but anywhoo, i was supposed to go to their horse show in the morning with them, but i went home instead.
uhhh yeah so tomorrow's wednsday. i made plans with kelly for this weekend and next weekend. it should be fun, kelly's pretty fucking awesome, man. i can't wait till spring break either! yeaah! FEWF. NO SCHOOL FOR A FEW DAYS, WOOT.
uhh idk what else to write. guess i'll go :|
i'm my own stone around my neck.
so, idk. i feel like updating. i feel out of touch lately with school. i try and try, but i feel like i can't concentrate? its damn weird. i think.. oh ! i have this and this and this and i gotta do this and this.. and i feel like i get a lot done, but i don't do enough. i'm afraid my grades are going to drop and i don't want them to.... but then i stop myself and think. why the fuck am i thinking about school?
i really want to loose weight. i feel huge lately. i'm trying, but i don't think its enough. i just hope i get there. i also can't wait until my haircut. i realized i'm getting sick of my hair and my whole overall appearance. i don't know what i want to dye it next, though. hard decision. all i know is that i'm definetely going strawberry blonde in the summer. i also think i'm going to grow out my bangs... yeah, i am, definetely. no more cutting for those.
who loves the sun? i do. i really can't wait for summer. it seems like the cold weather is lasting unusually long this year, but thats probably just me. i can't wait to get tan and what not. i want to actually do stuff this summer other than sit home and be a huge bum. its not like anyone i know can drive this summer. well, my sister can and i'll most likely be hanging out with her for some of the summer. i just hate the whole being home thing. i wish i can go out more.
so i feel like all my updates should be more like this. i like writing down what i think. i am going to go work out and burn some cals, so g'bye.